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Drug Rehab Success - Erica's Story
"At 13 years of age I took my first drink, by the age of 21 I
checked into my first rehab. It began by the usual experimental
drinking in a small rural town in Pennsylvania. Being that I was
shy, alcohol was a gateway to communication for me and I felt that I
was more fun when I was drunk. Soon after I was introduced to
marijuana. From the moment I took the first hit I was hooked. For
those who think marijuana isn't a gateway drug keep reading. LSD
quickly fell into my hands and I became addicted, eating it like
candy. My LSD habit escalated to using it two to three times per
week for the next three years. Between the alcohol, LSD and
marijuana there wasn't a moment of a day that I was actually sober.
By the time my senior year of high school rolled around my drug
and alcohol problem was out of control. Three months prior to my
high school graduation I was hanging out at a friend's house smoking
marijuana when someone pulled out a bag of cocaine. Snorting cocaine
quickly became a daily habit. At times I would do so much that I had
to smoke marijuana to bring myself down. While other kids were
concerned about their senior pictures and prom dresses I was
consumed with the worry of running out of cocaine and falling flat
on my face. I was stealing money from my parents business and from
my grandparents on a daily basis to support my alcohol, cocaine,
marijuana, and LSD habits.
One month prior to my high school graduation I moved into a party
house with one of my friends. Every night the house would be filled
with people who were 'tripping' on LSD, drinking, smoking marijuana,
and snorting coke. I slept on a mattress in a small room. At night I
was so paranoid that I would just sit and stare at the TV unable to
talk or move for fear that I was going to die from all the cocaine I
snorted and marijuana I smoked. One night during one of my binges I
blacked out and awoke with blood all over my face and vomit coming
out of my mouth. By some miracle I pulled myself awake and cleaned
myself up. I got into the car, shaking drove to my parent's house. I
climbed into bed with my mom and cried. She cried as well knowing
how desperate I had become because of my drug addiction. I somehow
managed to graduate high school. My parents felt that my only hope
was to leave my environment so they set it up for me to go to
college three and a half hours away.
I arrived at college with the intention of doing well, but once
again my drug and alcohol problem consumed me. I continued to drink
and smoke marijuana every day but did stop using cocaine, and only
ate LSD on occasion. Every night I was up late partying and hardly
ever went to class. I managed to pass three classes that semester
and when grades came out I got an ultimatum from my dad. I had one
more chance to do well in school or I had to come home and work. I
was afraid to go back to that environment because while at home over
Christmas break I had already been using cocaine again.
I decided that on my own I had to get a hold of my drug and
alcohol problem. I slowed down only drinking twice a week, but I
continued to smoke marijuana and took painkillers on and off. I
managed to do average in all my classes that semester and was
feeling stronger and more confident that I could overcome it. I
stayed at college that summer and made up the classes that I had
failed the first semester. I was still using marijuana and drinking
recreationally but felt that it was ok because I stopped using any
hard drugs.
That next year things were pretty calm. I had a steady boyfriend
that I really cared about and I was suppressing my addiction. I
began to do really good in school and finished the next two
semesters. In order to graduate with an associate degree I needed
two more classes so I stayed another summer to finish. At the end of
June I graduated with an Associate of Communication.
My boyfriend and I moved to a college town in Pennsylvania
because he had finished his education. I began an internship at a
local magazine where worked as a writer and photographer. Things
seemed to be pretty calm. I was still using marijuana and drinking
on occasion but while I was suppressing it, my addiction was doing
push-ups.
A month after starting my new job I had to take a few days off to
get my wisdom teeth out. After the operation I was prescribed over
the counter painkillers. I immediately began abusing them telling
the doctor I was allergic in order to get more. I also found that my
mother had some Vicoden left from an operation and was also taking
Xanax on occasion to help her sleep. I began stealing pills from her
and taking them all the time.
By December 2000 I had quit my job, broke up with my boyfriend
and moved into an apartment that was located on top of my parents
business. I was going back to college in the spring and decided to
work at my parent's restaurant to save money. Soon I began hanging
out with the local crowd drinking, eating painkillers, and smoking
marijuana. I was introduced to OxyContin, a pain killer given to
terminally ill cancer patients, and began using it on a regular
basis. I would have to pop six or seven painkillers to get the same
effect of snorting one 20 mg OxyContin that, chemically, is
basically synthetic heroin. OxyContin was extremely potent but the
withdrawal was like physical torture. At first I didn't understand
why I was feeling the way I felt, coming off the drug, but I caught
on as the sickness got worse. I was physically addicted.
By the time I realized I was addicted, snorting OxyContin was
part of my daily routine. Instead of having to do 20 mg to get off I
had to do 80 mg. I was stealing at least $100.00 per day from my
grandparents and the family business. I needed something stronger
because college was about to start and I couldn't afford to be sick.
Just as that thought ran through my mind I was introduced to heroin.
At $20 or $30 per bag it was a cheap, potent alternative to
OxyContin.
I would stop at nothing to get high. My dealer and I would travel
to North Philadelphia on our days off to pick up heroin to
distribute to pay for our habits. We bought bags for $10/each and
then would distribute them at three times their value. On days where
we ran out I would steal money and buy Oxy or whatever I could get
my hands on to avoid being sick. I somehow managed to get through
another semester of college. By the end of it I knew that I needed
to leave or I was going to die. I moved to the state of New Jersey
in hopes of getting my life together. On the way there I got so sick
that my family was frantic just watching me. I swore that I would
never do heroin again.
After two weeks I thought I had beat my addiction and decided go
home and confront it. I was home for four hours and relapsed. The
next two weeks I was on a heroin binge, snorting bag after bag until
I couldn't function anymore. I walked through life in a daze and
nothing affected me. It was as if heroin had shut off all my
emotions – I was numb. I was staying with my parents at the time and
they gave me another ultimatum. I could either quit using or leave.
I had no money so I took my car and drove to my grandparents. I
robbed them and when I came out I realized that my parents had
followed me and taken my keys. After a struggle to get the keys back
they put me in the car and tried to drive me home. When we got close
to my dealers we were at a red light and I hopped out of the car and
ran. My parents called telling me to never come home but I didn't
care; I just wanted to get high. I did so much heroin that night
that subliminally I think I was hoping that I would just die. I
didn't care about myself or anyone else. I fell asleep on a mattress
and woke up the next day with only one thought in my head, " I can't
live like this anymore."
I called my parents who agreed to pick me up. It was time to kick
again and I was scared. I started to get sick a few hours later at
their home and I got so sick that I had to be hospitalized. I don't
remember much about the hospital except throwing up and crying and
sleeping. Five days later I was released and my parents were in the
car with my things. They drove me strait back to New Jersey where I
swore I was going to start over.
I got a job and managed to not do heroin for one month. I began
drinking all the time to curb my cravings and as soon as I got the
chance I relapsed. The first time I used I almost overdosed and
began throwing up everywhere. I was in downtown Philadelphia with a
friend and got really sick. He offered me support and then a crack
pipe. For the next few weeks I went from drinking to taking
painkillers to snorting coke to snorting heroin to smoking crack. I
would take any buzz that I could get to just avoid being in my own
skin. I hated myself and what I had become. I couldn't even look
anyone in the eye and I had failed at confronting myself and my
problem. My addiction was winning. And every time I tried to kick
the physical craving would send me back for more.
While I was killing myself my parents were doing everything they
could to help me. My father began researching drug and alcohol
rehabilitation centers on the Internet. We were all scared because
we knew of many 12-step, 28-day rehabs that others had tried and
that didn't work. My parents did not want to gamble with my life,
and they knew it wouldn't be long before I killed myself. I was
slowly dying.
After extensive research my dad found this rehabilitation center.
It was a non-traditional center that handled the physical cravings
first, then the mental. It was also an extended 3-6 month program
with a 76 percent success rate.
Based on the data my parents were convinced that this was what
would save my life but I wasn't. I had gone so long without being
sober that I didn't think I could do it. So I refused. One morning I
woke up sick, again, from another drug binge. I got to a phone and
dialed the number that my mother had given me 'just in case.' I
spoke to a counselor who assured me that everything would be ok if I
was just willing to try. Making that decision was one of the hardest
things I've ever had to do.
I hopped on a plane and was then driven to the drug rehab center
where I went through a drug-free withdrawal. I was so scared to kick
again, that is the hardest thing for a drug addict to face, but
because of the vitamins I was given I got through it. I was finally
ready to start on the road to recovery.
Going through my program I confronted everything I couldn't
confront for all those years. For four months I went through the
hardest and most fulfilling thing I had ever done in my life. The
program initially deals with the physical part of drug addiction and
then moves on to the mental. The program deals with all aspects of
addiction by restoring the addict and giving them a new life.
One day I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time I
didn't hate who I was. I was finally happy. I was content and I had
won. I beat my addiction. The whole time I never needed drugs to
take away pain and to make me feel good. Thanks to this Program I
could finally do it all by myself. "
E.C. – Program Graduate
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